Jesus can heal any illness or ailment- be it mental, physical or spiritual. He healed my husband’s cancer, which had become deadly, instantaneously, through group prayer. Miracles are happening ALL OVER THE WORLD. Literally.
But sometimes, when we pray with FULL FAITH that he can and will heal us if he so pleases, he might just say, ‘no.’
I have come to understand WHY he says, ‘no.’ He says, ‘no’, because he knows we need to continue just as we are. It is out of love. Yes.
We can’t see the future, so we can’t tell how each change in our lives can lead down the various timelines that are POSSIBLE. Jesus can see every outcome. He operates at a much higher knowledge than we can.
I want to tell you about an epiphany I just had just today. I suffer TERRIBLY, and have suffered for over 25 years now, with crippling back pain (bet you didn’t know that!) I wake with terrible pain, I exist with terrible pain, every word I write is written in pain. I go to bed in pain and I sleep in pain. It wakes me up every night- many times. I take medication for pain until my stomach bleeds.
I KNOW Jesus could heal me. I have asked three times now. He. Said. NO.
Then, today, it occurred to me WHY he has not healed me. I lay down at least once a day to rest my back. I turn out all the lights, draw the curtains and rest. And I PRAY. I never thought about this before. Most of the time I spend with God and Jesus- the time I use to praise and love and adore them, the time I ask for guidance, the time I pray for my readers- IT IS AT THOSE TIMES!!!
If my back didn’t hurt, I would not even be here, at home, to write to you. I could not have any wisdom from God if I weren’t forced to lay down. And God knows me. If it didn’t hurt, I would be full of endless projects. I would NEVER rest- even with this crazy back, I almost never rest- I’m kinda relentless when I want to do something!
Even knowing this now, I can not promise God that I would still be with him so often. Because I am so scatter brained and so crazy focused when I do a project, I would FORGET. And then, regret it. HE KNOWS THAT. (bless him!) If he EVER releases me, who knows what could happen to me! What if I grow distant from my sweet King? Oh, it terrifies me to even THINK it! My love for him makes my heart so full of joy everyday. I can forget about the pain because I am happy so often. THAT is how I bear it without becoming bitter. I can still laugh, love, and I smile so often that a friend once said, “HOW CAN YOU SMILE ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!!! Even when we are discussing something really serious, you SMILE! What’s wrong with you!?” And of course, that made me LAUGH! And that is with the pain!
So. I will gladly accept the Lord’s will in this matter! I would not give up my pain if it meant ANY separation from God and Jesus. No way, no how. This pain is WHY I am here and can speak to you. Isn’t God wise and marvelous!?