Where I’ve Been
Some of you may have noticed that I have been missing in action for the last three weeks or so. I wrote yesterday of my personal journey to find God. Of course, my journey didn’t end there, now did it? Something powerful has happened to me recently. Let me tell you about it.
After that incredible event of finding God in my twenties, I never did go back to church. It just seemed empty. Church people had hurt me even more than the ‘sinners’ who never even thought about God. Where were they when I needed them so? Why did this horrible family, so vociferous & outstanding in the Born Again Christian church beat me so? I had decided to take Jesus up on his promise that when two or more are gathered in his name, that he would be there. Yes, that was my church for over 20 years. I have loved sharing my passion for Christ & God in this way over the years. As I wrote yesterday, my life has flowered voluptuously since my death, my life moment so long ago. My cup runneth over. It is too much even.
But recently, something has begun to ache inside.
Since I started this political/ religious blog four months ago, I have been both rewarded and saddened- all at the same time. I found a wealth of souls out there that I never even knew existed- people who truly love God and have a deep passion for doing what is right. People of conviction & strength. People who care. I can tell you, from personal experience, that these people are far & few between. But the Internet has allowed us to gather together. We can find our brothers & sisters easily and combine our voices into one powerful voice. A moral voice. A voice that is subservient to God alone. A brave voice. A voice, that because it finds its strength in Jesus, cuts like a sword. People know truth when they hear it. They either love hearing it- or they scurry like so many dirty rats away from it, occasionally turning to bite & scratch. Jesus said that evil hates the light. Of course, he was so right.
The sadness has come from the sad state of our country, its people and the world in general. In order to be the best blogger I can be, and being an addict of the Truth that I am, I have been religious in my research before publishing an article. Four months ago, I kind of scoffed at my Dad’s conviction of a world-wide conspiracy to bring about a new world order. Believe me, I was no advocate- I just wanted to provide a political commentary from a Christian point of view to the public at large. But my research has dragged me toward my Dad’s thinking. Amazingly bad things are really happening. Right here in America. What? ALL the news (yes, FOX too) has been taken over by six families & groups in a clear cartel? And no one even knows it? What? Mother Nature is now a legal person with rights to sue countries & companies (and force us to expensive ‘green energy’)? What? Schools are refusing to teach our children about the Constitution & Bill of Rights? What? George Soros’ crazy ideas about new, borderless ‘Open Societies’ is actually being well received by intellectual elites at Harvard, Yale & Columbia University? Really? What? Obama, who promised to end wars, has been making more war than any president before him- effectively cutting off our foreign source of oil? And without the approval of Congress? Really? And no one seems to notice that these actions fit so nicely into Obama’s obsessive drive to force the immature ‘green’ energy industry on all of us, thus enriching politicians who own huge stock in it? What? Obama wants to spend $447 billion more when we are broke- against all common sense? Borrow more money from the Chinese? Tax businesses who are already fleeing our nation for friendlier business environments when our countrymen are so desperate for American jobs? What? Is the Fed literally printing money, making the dollar a laughing-stock around the world- just when we need it to be strong? Is Obama really just making sweeping new laws without Congress, like a king, via his regulatory agencies? Is it true that Americans seem not to really care? Did he really just tell Eric Holder not to enforce the law because he thought it was unconstitutional? Did Obama just tell Eric Holder to curb our Second Amendment rights– and not one Republican so much as peeped? Is Lieberman really proposing a bill to kill our constitutional free speech on the Internet (is there any speech more powerful today?) for 90 full days on the mere whim of one man, one president? Did my neighbor really just say, “Well, maybe it’s good for us? In case we get attacked via the Internet?” Have Americans become willing to give up their Constitutional rights for the sake of promised (and undeliverable) security? Really? And worse, not only is not one Republican complaining, but they are actually proposing their own version of the bill! Is Casey Anthony’s trial really more important than this new Cybersecurity & Internet Freedom bill? Do our corrupt politicians feel so secure in Obama’s progressive administration that they are now openly proclaiming their membership in the socialist party? Really?
Ah, and of course, this makes the complete news-ownership-thing make complete sense. Because none of this makes it past a passing nod on the Internet. You have to dig. Mere whispers among us lead the curious (with time to look) to vile government documents & awful proof buried deep in stock market data. Are not these events newsworthy? If a layman like me can find this public information, couldn’t a seasoned investigative reporter? Isn’t it newsworthy that all the news- from über liberal MSNBC to conservative Fox- is owned by the same people in a clear conspiracy?
The cycle is complete. Evil has free rein now. In a world where local news agencies rely exclusively on the reporting of large news agencies for national & world news, we only hear what they want us to hear. Proof be damned. They have effectively made it impossible for credible people with rock solid evidence to be credible. In fact, the truth is so incredible that no one wants to believe it. Either they think you are crazy or they hate the immediate danger they sense when confronted with stock market data that proves, without a doubt what you have been saying. They overload. And leave. Who wants to hear it? Who wants the shock, all in a moment, of finding out just how badly they are being manipulated by such a tiny & evil elite who wishes nothing more than to subvert them? Americans are still Americans. While we are strong in character, we are weak in our trust of government and the immutability of the Constitution. Are we not the greatest nation on earth? Are we not the freest people in the world? Are we not protected, as citizens, more than in any other country? How can this crazy person be right when we have our laws– all based on the Constitution– to protect us & our rights? And so, the scoffing begins.
I’m not sad that people scoff. I understand it! I was there. But I see the purposeful erosion of that very document on which Americans are betting their farms now. Americans are too busy working their butts off to dig like I am. They are being presented with the idea that the Constitution is a ‘living document’ that must change with the changing times. They forget the part where their whole faith was based on the immutability of that same document! They don’t see the fact that if the Constitution can so easily be ignored, and laws can now be made via regulatory bodies who were never voted into office, then kingship has just been born in America.
The sadness has come because I understand why people scoff. It’s just too big to swallow. It takes too long to prove. The person either has to just take your word for it, or be forced to read a long article, full of references that they must also read, in order to truly believe it is fact. And the consequences of believing are heavy. If they believe what you are saying, then they must either call themselves a coward and do nothing about it- or they must change something huge in their lives. The call to action is too powerful.
The ostrich is born. I do, however, blame people for sticking their heads in the sand. It is cowardly. But I understand it. It is human nature. It is the ol’ 80/ 20 rule. Eighty percent of the people just don’t care about anything above their own sphere- their own pocketbooks, their own families, their own happiness- in the immediate ‘now’. 20% of the population do all the work that is needed to move forward as a group, as a nation. This is just the way it has always been and this is the way it will always be. (Until Jesus comes back, that is.)
So, my personal agony has been based on this one question: “What should I do about it?”
As always, I have sought God in the matter. I have begun to read the Old Testament & the Book of Revelations- books I never paid any attention to before. I only cared about the red letters in the Bible- you know, Jesus’ words. But the seemingly hopeless nature of current politics and the unstoppable train of events that it must represent have caused me to wonder if the end of the United States is near. Watching the United States abandon Israel recently, my memory was jogged as this being one of the signs of the coming of Christ. Israel would stand alone. Who could conceive, a mere three years ago, that America could turn so coldly on our old soul mate? So, I investigated the matter (as I always do before an article). Boy, oh boy. The prognosis is not good, my friends. The Bible prophecies are coming to fruition.
Do any of you remember the mentioning of Israel deciding to follow the Assyrian when their destruction is upon them? Some people call this guy the AntiChrist. Not me. I don’t see that word at all in the prophecies. It says ‘the Assyrian’. Sometimes it calls him the ‘Little Horn’. I never understood it. Why & how could events ever transpire that would convince JEWS to follow an MUSLIM? Huh? Tell me that! I had not ever read the Old Testament myself- but I remembered this from a distant memory of unknown origin. But I read it, my friends. And when I read about the ‘Little Horn’ that spoke blasphemous & bragging words to such a point that the poor seer couldn’t even pay attention to the Almighty GOD, I laughed- and Obama’s nonstop blabbering face with his nose stuck up in the air came into instant focus. Obama is half Muslim. His family is from Kenya- only a short migration from the ancient Assyrian kingdom (a short hop down the Nile from Egypt). And he is the most powerful man in the world. And he is the head of the only friend that Israel has left. Their only powerful ally that keeps their Arab enemies at bay. And Obama has shown them the bottom of his shoe (literally) and has insulted them no less than the middle finger would. And then he has turned around and made strongly worded promises (ha!) to American Jews (his money staple) that if Israel is attacked, then America is attacked. And they bought it hook, line & sinker.
I ask you: what if Obama is the Assyrian? It would make perfect sense. If a Muslim , whose blood roots (which the Bible takes into great account) go back to ancient the Assyrian nation, is the leader of the most powerful nation on the earth and if that powerful nation has always protected Israel in the past, would not Israel trust the American president & his promises of protection if Iran nukes them? Would they not expect the U.S.A. military to come in quick support? And would it not be a devastating blow to Israel if Mr. Lead-from-Behind refused to send troops for whatever reason? It says that God is angered by stubborn Israel’s refusal to turn to HIM in the time of their destruction. He is angered that instead of Him, they put their faith in the Assyrian. And so he lets them be destroyed. In political terms, this scenario makes perfect sense.
These thoughts have been in turmoil in my mind & spirit. If we are in the end days, should Christians attempt to stop the events? Should we fight and try to stop the Assyrian? Or is it God’s will that all this should happen so that He can bring about his new heaven and new earth? Should we fight God’s will, in essence?
That is where I have been, my friends. Trying to answer this question. Should I blog and call people to arms- or should I delve into the spiritual- and let Caesar have what is Caesar’s? I just couldn’t write anymore until this question was answered. I had no more good advice, my friends. I felt like Peter who cut off the soldier’s ear and Jesus crisply berated him to stop. Should I put my sword down?
And here is how God answered me. I found a church. Yep. After over twenty years of resistance (I guess I do have some of my mother), I tripped over the most wonderful church. Who knew? But I don’t doubt God anymore. He just does what he wants, that’s all. By pure happenstance (yeah, right), my daughter met a new friend. My daughter is publicly shy, so a new friend is a big deal in our family. She was invited to a sleep over, but I had never really met the girl or her parents. Call me crazy, but I can’t allow my 10-year-old to spend the night where older brothers or strange boyfriends or predator Dads might lurk. As disappointed as she was, I promised to use the opportunity to get to know them. My husband was going to pick her up after the birthday party and I spontaneously (yeah, right) jumped in the car with him- barefoot, no make up. I wanted to keep my promise as soon as possible. And what did I discover, but just the nicest, most normal & decent Christian family? And they invited us to their church after about 1 & 1/2 hours of good, hearty conversation.
Did I jump on the chance? Of course not! Though my husband had prompted me to go to church over the years, he was used to my demurrals. He let this one pass as he had the others.
So, what happened?
In reading the book of Isaiah later one night, I found this passage in chapter 56:
“Do not let the son of the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord speak, saying, “The Lord has utterly separated me from His people”; nor let the eunuch say, “Here I am, a dry tree.” For thus says the Lord: “To the eunuchs who keep My Sabbaths, and choose what pleases Me, and hold fast My covenant, even to them I will give in My house and within My walls a place and a name better than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off. Also the sons of the foreigner who join themselves to the Lord, to serve Him, and to love the name of the Lord, to be His servants; everyone who keeps from defiling the Sabbath, and holds fast My covenant; even them I will bring to My holy mountain, and make them joyful in My house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on My altar; for My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations.” The Lord God, who gathers the outcasts of Israel, says, “Yet I will gather to him others besides those who are gathered to him.”
I said to God, “Huh! I didn’t know going to church was so important to you!” Then, in chapter 58, I read:
1“Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
and to the house of Jacob their sins.
2 For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.
3‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?’
“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
4Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the Lord? (I love this line.)
6“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say:
“Here am I.”
Wow. I got up and walked straight to my husband and said, “We need to go to church and not work on Sunday.” He said, “Let’s go to Virginia & Anthony’s church.” And we did.
And God answered me. About this blog. About my big question.
That first Sunday, my pastor talked about having a purpose driven life. I was bothered- this was touching upon my problem pretty closely. He then talked about Abraham, whom God told to simply, “Go.” And he didn’t know where he was supposed to go. My pastor said to imagine how Abraham must have felt. Should he go north, south, east or west? How did he know it was the right way? And this is what answered my question. It came all at once. You can be doing God’s will even if you don’t know where you are going. You can take a step and have complete faith that God directed that step. It may feel haphazard, but it is not. Something motivated you to take that step. Instinct? Coincidence? Inner desire? A shrug of the shoulder and an instant choice? No.
There is no accident that anyone is anywhere. God speaks to us by driving us places. By moving our passions. Why do I continue to question my drives and the place I am at? Why do I call out to God and ask, “Am I doing your will? Am I doing what is right? Do you want me to do something else?” How dumb is that? Of course I am doing His will- because I love him and obey him. He would not lead me astray. He never has. I need to stop questioning and start committing. It says in the prophecies that the saints will attempt to oppose the Assyrian. I guess I’m to be an opposer. Good. Let it be.